


Almost Human 30 Day Challenge

by KCgirl



Category: Almost Human
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Fluff and Angst, M/M, OTP Fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1621499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KCgirl/pseuds/KCgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My attempt at 30 days of Jorian goodness!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Holding Hands

John could handle this. He was an old pro at roller coasters...spent whole summers in line at the local amusement park. Piece of cake. 

Cake...yeah, he was definitely having cake after this. Dorian promised they’d go out to eat afterwards. 

He glanced at the blue-eyed man beside him, who was practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

“Thank you for doing this with me John.” He smiled. “It’s going to be exhilarating!”

John looked at the Monster Coaster towering in front of them. “Yeah. Exhilarating.”

As they got closer, John noticed the number of people that looked a little green around the gills as they existed the ride, and started to question his choices.

He had been prone to motion sickness as he’d gotten older, and after one too many close calls on the job, he wasn’t too fond of heights, much less being hurled through the air in a rickety death trap.

“You sure this is safe Dorian?”

“Of course John,” Dorian gave him a reassuring pat on the back. “Do you really think I would put your life at risk? It goes against my programming.”

Kennex took a deep breath. He was definitely questioning his choices.

“We’re next!” Dorian said excitedly as the ride slowed, releasing it’s latest casualties.

He went right for the front car, and John could already feel his stomach knotting up, He swallowed thickly, as the carnie with arms the size of tree trunks tried to shuffle him into the seat behind Dorian.

“Hey!” John said elbowing the guy. “I’m supposed to be with him.” John nodded toward the car in front of him.

“No room up there man.” The guy answered. Some kid had cut in front of John to grab the seat next to Dorian.

“We’re here together. Make that kid move.” John demanded.

“Together?” The carnie looked at John knowingly, and glanced at Dorian questioningly.

“He’s my partner.” Dorian said. “Would you mind moving?” 

John groaned inwardly, as the dark-skinned man smiled sweetly, and the stupid kid shrugged and got up to trade places with John. Partner.

“He’s just a little aprehensive,” Dorian explained. “I appreciate it.”

“There you go Princess.” The carnival worker winked at John as he took the seat.

“We work together,” John explained through gritted teeth. 

“I’ll bet.” 

Dorian shook his head, and double checked the bar that was secured in front of them, as the car slowly started to move.

“This is going to suck isn’t it?”

“It’s going to be fun. Just relax.” Dorian settled back as the car climbed higher and higher.

John shot him a look, and at the last second, grabbed Dorian’s hand in a death grip.

 

John opened his eyes as the car came to a stop. “Is it over?” he asked, his throat scratchy from screaming. 

“That was awesome man!” Dorian exclaimed.

John tried in vain to take a deep breath, his hand still clasped in Dorian’s as the android helped his human out of the car.

John took one step and a wave of dizziness washed over him. If not for Dorian, he would have fallen flat on his face.

“Are you alright John?”

I’m gonna throw up.” Kennex declared.

Dorian quickly guided them to a bench and had John put his head between his knees. He tried to move his left hand to rest it on John’s back, but the other man only squeezed his fingers more tightly. 

“You should have told me you suffered from motion sickness John.” Dorian chided him gently.

“I tried.” John huffed. “But you were so damned excited about the stupid thing.

‘Please do this with me John’, ‘I want to have this experience with you John’ ‘It will be exhilarating John’.

“I’m sorry,” Dorian said sincerely.

“No you’re not.”

“John...”

“Shh. Stop talking and let me concentrate on not puking.”

Dorian smiled, and pulled their still joined hands into his lap. He wondered if John realized he hadn’t let go yet.


	2. Wearing Each Others Clothes/I'll Miss You Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is away from home unexpectedly and John is at loose ends...

“Two days?” John asked.

“Roughly, yes.” Rudy ran a hand through his hair as he made notes on his pad, Dorian was sitting on the table next to him.

“How come I’m just now hearing about it?” John asked, annoyance more than obvious in his tone.

Rudy glanced at him. “It’s been scheduled for some time John. You both received three reminder messages.”

John scowled at Dorian. “You weren’t gonna mention this?”

“You need to read your emails man. I assumed, which I should never do, where you’re concerned, that you did.” 

Dorian’s lips twitched as he fought against the smile that just on the verge of showing on his face.

“Can’t you do this during the week or something?”

“It’s two full days of diagnostics John. Dorian is working during the week, so this is the only time available.

“What’s the big deal?” Dorian asked. “I figured you’d be glad to be rid of me for a couple days...have some time to yourself.”

“But we had stuff to do this weekend.” John pointed out. The fact that he sounded like a whiny girlfriend right now was something that he would have to ponder later. He would certainly have the time to do it, what with Dorian being in the lab for 48 straight hours.

“We did?” Dorian’s face lit up, obviously searching his memory banks for the forgotten plans he’d made with his partner/roomate.

“I wanted to watch that move tonight...”

“We can do that when I get back.” Dorian smiled brightly.

John huffed and threw his jacket into a chair petulantly.

“Just wish I’d had a little notice.”

“You did...” Rudy began.

“Shut up about the damn email! I don’t have time for that crap. That’s what I have him for, to keep me up-to-date.”

“I’ll miss you too John.” Dorian said softly. “It’s only two days.”

John rolled his eyes. “I’m not...” It’s not that. I was just getting used to...you know...”

Dorian looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish that sentence. John was feeling things right now that he didn’t have words for.

“The sooner I begin John, the sooner we’ll be finished.”

John let out another huff of breath, realizing he wasn’t going to win this argument. 

Dorian was staying at the lab all weekend.

“Guess I’ll see you on Monday,” John sighed. “If you finish sooner...”

“I’ll com you.” Dorian smiled. “Bye John.”

Dorian watched him walk out the door with a wistful look. 

“Ready Dorian?” Rudy asked.

Dorian leaned back on the table, and noticed that John’s jacket was still on the chair across the room.

“He left his jacket.”

Rudy glanced over at the chair. “I can call him if you like.”

“Actually...could you...” Dorian reached out his hand and Rudy smiled.

He walked over to pick up the garment and brought it back to the android.

“Thank you.” Dorian smiled and laid it across his chest, both hand wrapped in the fabric.

“Honestly Dorian, I don’t know how you put up with him.”

“He’s kind of an acquired taste.” Dorian admitted, closing his eyes.

 

John sighed for the umpteenth time that afternoon, and threw himself into the drivers seat of the cruiser, slamming the door.

He was done for the day, and the whole weekend lay before him. After a moment, he thought to himself that maybe this was a good thing. He could do whatever he wanted, eat whatever he wanted, with no repercussions. No nagging, no talking. He smiled.

The first thing he did was drive to his favorite Thai place. He ordered the spiciest thing on the menu and over-salted it, because he could.

It was good, but, he had to admit that eating alone was boring. He glanced around at the other people in the restaurant. Families were laughing and talking. Some couples were just sitting together. He was alone with a plate full of noodles. Awesome.

When he got home, he was considering watching a particular video. One that Dorian didn’t like because it was so violent. As he got out of the car, he noticed Dorian’s jacket in the passenger seat and grabbed it.

Walking into his condo, a gust of wind went right through him and John slipped on the jacket to keep out the cold. The sleeves were a little short on him, but he didn’t mind. 

Once inside, John walked right to the kitchen, and grabbed a beer and some chips.  
He grumbled to himself when he realized that Dorian had moved them from their former spot, to the top shelf in one of the cabinets. As if that would keep him from finding them.

Next, he spread out on the couch and turned on the movie, taking a drink of beer. He was the king of his castle, and it was great...for about fifteen minutes.

If Dorian had been there, he would have complained about the movie, and chided John about eating chips after a salty, unhealthy dinner. He would have sat next to John on the couch, and talked to him about their day. He would have laughed at John’s comments about the video.

There was no getting around it. John missed him. Dammit.

Flicking off the movie, John stood up, and put away the chips. He glanced at the chrono, and was shocked to see that it was only 9:30. What the hell? This was the slowest night...ever.

With yet another sigh, he decided to give up and go to bed. Maybe he could read...or something. Halfway there, he stopped and slowly walked into the trophy room that was now home to Dorian’s charger.  
The room was still littered with boxes and John’s old memorabilia, and Kennex told himself that he really needed to clean it up. It should be more like a real bedroom. Dorian would like that. He deserved that. John smiled, imagining the android’s happiness at seeing the room cleaned out, and ready for him to decorate however he wanted. Within limits, of course. No cat posters.

John was about to leave the room, but stopped when something caught his eye. He made his way over to the charger, and saw the old T-shirt and sleep pants that he had given Dorian when he first moved in. The clothes were neatly folded on top of the old dresser that stood against the wall, waiting for Dorian to return. 

John reached out and ran his fingers over the soft fabric of the shirt, and the loneliness he’d been keeping at bay all evening welled up inside him. 

On an impulse, he shucked off Dorian’s jacket, and tossed it on top of a box that sat on the floor. Next he took of his own shirt, and pulled the t-shirt over his head. It smelled like the soap that Dorian liked to use when he took showers. 

John chucked to himself, grabbed the sleep pants, and picked up Dorian’s jacket as he walked out of the room. 

Fifteen minutes later, the jacket was draped somewhat neatly over the back of the couch, and John lay in bed wearing not only his old T-shirt, but the sleepants as well. He closed his eyes, and wrapped both arms around himself.

“Good night Dee.” he whispered. “See you Monday.”


	3. Cuddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is dealing with night terrors, and lack of sleep. Dorian is there to take care of him, of course.

John’s panicked scream startled Dorian so much that he nearly dropped the bowl in the sink. He quickly wiped his wet hands on his pants, and hurried from the kitchen to the couch, where John had been trying to get some sleep. 

His body spasmed, still in the throes of a nightmare, and Dorian knelt in front of him, laying a hand on his arm.

“John.” Dorian spoke calmly, and firmly in the man’s ear. “You’re OK.”

Kennex jerked his head away from the sound, and Dorian kept a light grip on his arm. He’d learned from experience that when John was having a night terror, it was best to be prepared to move quickly, and be ready to block random punches.

“It’s alright John.” This was met with incoherent mumbling and an attempt to sit up. Dorian’s hand kept him on the couch, and suddenly, John’s eyes flew open, wild and unfocused. His breathing was erratic and shallow.

“Dorian!” John yelled his name, even though the android was only inches away. “Dorian! Where...” 

“I’m here John. I’m right here.” Dorian placed a hand on the side of John’s face, trying to get him to focus. He hated it when John called for him in his sleep like this. He sounded so desperate, and frightened. It made Dorian’s chest hurt.

Finally, John seemed to really look at him, and when he did, he pulled Dorian to his chest. He held on, his fingers digging into the androids shoulder blades. If Dorian could actually breath, he would have gasped in shock.

“You kept calling for me...but I couldn’t...find you...it was dark” John’s voice hitched and he squeezed his eyes shut, his body jerking slightly with silent sobs.

“Breath John.” Dorian rubbed a hand slowly up and down the other man’s back. “Just take deep breaths, Ok?”

John tried to do as he was told, and was only moderately successful. He still held on to Dorian with an iron grip, and the android put both arms around him, holding him close.

When his breathing finally slowed, John moved out of the android’s embrace. He ran a hand over his face, which was still wet with tears.

Turning away from Dorian, he put his head in his hands. “I fucking hate this!”

“I know John. I do too.” Dorian’s hand was still on John’s back, rubbing gently. “Let me get you some water.”

“I just want to sleep like a normal person! Is that too much to ask?” 

John still had his head bowed, and when he looked up at Dorian, it was obvious that he was exhausted.

Dorian handed him a bottle of water. “Maybe you should think about...”

“NO! I told you I’m not taking those pills again. They turn me into a fucking zombie!”

“Well, I’m going to speak to Captain Maldonado about this. Obviously reopening the investigation into the raid has been detrimental for you. They have all of your previous testimony about what you recall from that day, and that will have to be sufficient.”

Normally John would argue, and tell Dorian to stop meddling, but now he just nodded. He couldn’t do this anymore.

John sniffled and fell back on the couch, and Dorian took the water bottle from him.

“Come with me John.” Dorian grabbed the taller man’s hand, and pulled him toward the room that had recently been renovated into a bedroom for the android.

“What are we doing?” John asked tiredly, even as he scooted back against the pillows of the neatly made bed that Dorian never slept in.

“I thought maybe a change of scenery would help.” Dorian said gently. He moved to recline next to John, and pulled the other man into his arms. 

John tensed immediately. “Dorian...I don’t think...” 

“Stop thinking John. Just rest.” 

After a moment, John let himself relax against Dorian, his head on the android’s chest. He felt his own breathing even out.

“You’re safe now.” Dorian told him. “If anything happens, I’ll be right here.”

He took another deep breath and turned his face into the soft material of Dorian’s shirt, bringing an arm up around the android’s waist. 

“It’s going to get better Sweetheart. I promise.” 

Dorian hadn’t meant for that word to slip out. He’d only meant to make John feel better, and he knew that humans liked to use pet names for each other. Sometimes he thought about what it would be like if he and John were close enough to do that, but he never meant to actually say it.

He glanced down quickly at John, expecting the other man to pull away from him, but instead, John’s hazel eyes brimmed with tears.

Before Dorian could explain himself, John dropped his head onto his partner’s chest, fighting to hold in muffled sobs.

Dorian was shocked, but he recovered quickly, and pulled John closer. 

This is why John kept everyone at arms length. He knew that if one bit of what he was feeling leaked out, the rest would follow like a raging flood. 

Dorian’s soft voice, speaking that small endearment, had been a fatal blow to his carefully constructed defenses. Had it really been years since anyone had held him like this? Since someone had cared this much?

“I’m so tired, Dee...” he whispered.

“I know.” Dorian hugged him fiercely for a moment, and when his hold loosened slightly, John resisted, keeping both arms around the other man.

“Don’t let go.”

Dorian squeezed him, and rubbed his cheek against John’s temple.

“I’m right here John.” Dorian assured him.

“Tighter...” John insisted, his voice hoarse.

“John...”

“I can’t feel it!” he cried brokenly. 

Dorian put a hand behind John’s head and rocked the other man in his arms, holding on as tightly as he dared without causing injury.

He realized that John would never act this way, were it not for the fact that he was so completely worn down from lack of sleep, but it was good that he was getting it out. 

Maybe John would be in a better place once he was actually able to sleep for awhile. Sleep without reliving the horrors that had gotten him here in the first place.

They stayed like that for a long while, wrapped around each other, and Dorian felt relief wash over him when he realized that John had finally fallen asleep.


	4. One is Awake and The Other is Asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is meant to be a continuation of the "Cuddling" chapter. Dedicating this one to ReaditHoney, who shares my obsessive love of Jorian....Enjoy

Dorian watched as the natural light in the room began to fade. It was almost 7:30 in the evening now, and John had been asleep for nearly three hours.

He had hardly moved in all that time. His left arm was still wrapped around Dorian, his fingers clutching the android’s shirt even in sleep. His left leg was thrown on top of Dorian’s right thigh. Any attempt the android made to move only resulted in John trying to pull him closer, so he had resigned himself to remaining completely still. Only the fingers of his left hand moved, carding through John’s dark hair.

His hair was softer than Dorian had imagined it would be. Almost silky to the touch. The android catalogued everything about the sensation in an encrypted file and stored it away, since he didn’t know when he would have the opportunity to be this close to the human again.

John’s fingers flexed against Dorian’s back, and he scanned the sleeping human. He was entering a REM cycle, and Dorian hoped that whatever the detective was dreaming, would not be too disturbing. As if in response to this thought, John made a noise in his sleep, somewhere between a breathy sigh and a moan. 

Dorian tightened his arms around the man that occupied so much of his time, and so many of his thoughts. 

“I’m here John.” he whispered. “I won’t leave you.”

He ran another scan, making sure his partner was well and truly asleep before he said anything more.

“I love you, John.”

Dorian felt himself shiver, or perhaps buzz was a better description of the sensation that passed through him as he uttered those four words. He had never said them aloud before, not even to himself. 

It was thrilling, even here in the dark, spoken in the faintest of whispers. 

At that moment, John moved in his sleep, so that even more of his body was draped across the solid body beneath him.. He tucked his head under Dorian’s chin, another sound escaping his lips.

“I love you.” Dorian said again, tightening his hold fractionally. 

As he did so, John relaxed once more in his sleep. The android smiled, his blue eyes bright in gathering darkness.


	5. Doing Battle Side by Side or Jorian vs Home Depot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would rather walk across hot coals than go to Home Depot to shop for appliances. John feels the same way! Many thanks to Readithoney for her constant good thoughts and encouragement!

John opened the door and reached for a beer. It wasn’t until the door was almost closed that he noticed the bottle wasn’t cold. As he pondered this problem, he slipped in the growing puddle of water on the floor.

“Shit!”

He grabbed the nearby countertop to keep from falling on his ass.

“Dorian!!” he bellowed.

“What’s wrong?” The android emerged from his bedroom, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen when he saw the mess on the floor. “Oh.”

“Yeah... ‘oh.’” John gestured to the refrigerator with a scowl. “Scan this damn thing and figure out what’s wrong with it!” He slammed his bottle of beer on the counter in frustration.

“I don’t have to scan it John.”

Dorian stepped around the puddle of water and punched a few buttons on the door panel. A digital readout appeared, telling them that the freezer side of the appliance was no longer maintaining a consistent temperature. 

All of the ice had melted, which caused the leak, and the temperature regulator on the refrigerated side was trying to compensate for the freezer’s malfunction, resulting in warm beer.

“So what does that mean?” John asked in an exasperated tone, as Dorian grabbed a dish towel to wipe up the mess.

“It means you need a new refrigerator.”

“New? Can’t we call somebody to fix this one?” He looked at the white refrigerator that had been in the condo since he’d moved in. It was supposed to be a SmartFridge. Nothing very ‘smart’ about this.

“I don’t think so. This is kind of an outdated model, and once the cooling system malfunctions...it’s pretty expensive to fix. A new one is your best bet.”

“Fuck!” 

With that, Kennex stormed out of the kitchen and toward the front door.

“Where are you going?” Dorian asked.

“Going to get my cooler and some ice” John barked.

 

It only took about thirty minutes to get all of the salvageable contents of the fridge into John’s old cooler. He was most upset about the Rocky Road ice cream that had turned to soup in the freezer. Dorian set a reminder for himself to add this item to John’s shopping list once they had this situation figured out.

“Now what?” John asked as Dorian placed the cooler in the corner of the kitchen.

“Time to shop for appliances!” Dorian announced happily. “I’ve never been to Home Depot John. This is going to be fun!”

John gave him a long look.

“I am telling you right now, if you don’t wipe that smile off your face, I’m locking you in the car when we get there.”

 

John and Dorian stopped in the entrance to the Home Depot Mega Store and stared in awe. In front of them was an endless sea of beautiful patio furniture, in every color and design imaginable. Dorian pictured the black wicker set with the blue and white cushions on John’s balcony, but he thought it best not to bring up the idea right now.

“Hi there!” A young man in an orange apron approached them. “Can I help you guys find something?”

“Just looking” John grumbled. “Thanks.”

They walked further into the store and Dorian looked over at his partner. “Why didn’t you ask for help John?”

“I don’t need ‘help’ to find the refrigerators Dorian, and I don’t want some guy bugging us.”

Dorian just shook his head as they made their way to the kitchen appliance area.

Once there, they wandered among the dizzying number of choices that were offered. Side by side, French doors, Bottom Freezer, Top Freezer, White, Black, the list went on and on.

“The hell kind of color is ‘Ice’? Why don’t they just call it white?” John wondered absently.

“Ice sounds sexier than just plain white.” Dorian explained. John just stared at him.

“I don’t need my refrigerator to be sexy. I just want a goddamn cold beer.”  
“What you need, is someone to explain all of this to you.”

John rolled his eyes. “I told you earlier, I don’t...”

“Excuse me?” Dorian smiled at a middle-aged man who was obviously working in the appliance area. “Would you mind if we asked you a few questions?”

The man, whose name was “Don,” smiled back. “Sure. What can I help you with?” he asked.

“Refrigerator’s on the blink.” John explained. “Looks like I need a new one.”

“What seems to be the problem?” the man asked. Dorian quickly explained what had happened and gave Don the model number of the unit in John’s condo.

“That is an older model. Why don’t I show you what the current version of that one looks like and we can go from there?”

“Would you?” Dorian smiled. “That would be great. All of this is a little overwhelming.”

John gave Dorian the side-eye as the clerk led them down the line of refrigerators. Was it really necessary that he try to make friends with everyone they came in contact with?

“...and this one has the ice maker on the inside of the door. Some folks prefer that. Gives the appliance a ‘cleaner’ look from the outside. This one only comes in stainless though.”

“I want white, with side by side doors, just like I had before.” John said flatly.

“Are you sure?” Not many models come in white these days. That’ll limit your number of options.”

“Good. I’ll have less stuff to keep track of that way.”

Don and Dorian exchanged a look, and then Dorian stopped, as a particular model caught his eye. “What does this one do, Don?”

“This baby is pretty high-tech.” He punched a couple of buttons and a screen appeared on the door of the fridge. “It keeps track of you food inventory and tells you when you’re running low on something, like milk or eggs. You can also write your grocery list right on here.” Don wrote his name with his finger right on the screen.

“That’s really...”

“I don’t need that Dee. You’ve been doing most of the grocery shopping anyway.”

“That’s why this might be handy to have John.” Dorian smiled through gritted teeth.

John gave the unit a cursory glance, then turned away. “Too many credits. What else you got?”

Finally, John settled on exactly what he’d said he wanted. A newer version of the model he already had. Dorian was still eyeing some of the more “exciting” options while Don drew up the paperwork.

“Ok, so that’s all the specs on the fridge.”

Don prattled on, giving John all the necessary details that he could really care less about. They’d been here for over two hours, and John was hungry. He just wanted to go home.

“Do you want to add a warranty?”

“What?” John asked.

“A warranty? It’s good for five years, covers any and all repair to the unit in case anything should happen. Not that it will, of course, but as you’ve seen, the ice maker can be a problem.”

John looked at the man in the orange apron, confused. “You’re talking about the thing breaking down and I haven’t even bought it yet.”

“Not exactly...”

Suddenly, John noticed Dorian’s face light up. He recognized that particular pattern as a message from the station.

“What’s up?” he asked, turning away from the salesman.

“There’s a situation downtown. We have to go.”

John turned back to the clerk. “Can we put this on hold or something?”

Don looked at the two men and nodded. “Of course. I’ll be here until 9 tonight, and I’ll be working tomorrow too.” He handed Dorian his card and the two detectives turned to go.

 

The crisis had turned out to be a minor situation that was resolved in about forty-five minutes. John went to tell the captain that he needed to leave early so he could get back to Home Depot, but she had insisted that he help Detective Paul question a suspect, and then complete the paperwork from his last bust, which should have been on her desk several days ago.  
Two hours later, John was still working on paperwork. He sighed loudly.

“You Ok?” Dorian asked.

“No.” John grumbled. “I’m fucking starving, I bet all the ice in that cooler has melted by now, and I still don’t have a refrigerator! If I have to go back into that store, I’m gonna have a fucking panic attack.”

“John, I think that’s a little extreme.” Dorian scolded.

“No it’s not! That place is like the ninth circle of hell Dorian! It’s just disguised with bright lights and patio furniture!”

Dorian gave a slight smile, and took pity on his partner. “You stay here and finish up and I’ll go home and check on everything. When you get there we can have dinner.”

“How...how are you gonna get home?”

“I can ask Valerie to drop me off. That would be easier than having to come back and pick you up.”

“Ok,” John sighed. “See you in a couple of hours.”

 

John let out a sigh as he pulled into his parking spot. What a fucked up day. All he wanted to do was eat some noodles and go to sleep. He dreaded rummaging through the cooler of food that waited for him in his apartment, but then realized, Dorian had probably already made something for him to eat.

Alone in the privacy of the cruiser, John smiled. He really didn’t know what he’d do without that annoying android with the beautiful blue eyes. 

Along with his change in his sleeping arrangements, Dorian had been cooking most of his meals. That meant he was eating vegetables occasionally. The quality of his sleep had improved 78.6% according to his partner, and he was getting more vitamins. All John knew was that he felt better. He wasn’t going to analyze it. At least not today. 

He walked up the stairs and punched the code in the lock, opening the door to the apartment. The smell of dinner made his stomach rumble.

“Hey,” he called as he closed the door. 

“I made you some Alfredo.” Dorian smiled, just setting a plate out for the detective. 

“Thanks Dee.” John smiled. He glanced toward the kitchen, thinking about getting a bottle of water from the cooler. What he saw there shocked him.

“What the...” John turned to look at Dorian, who seemed to be avoiding his gaze. “What is that refrigerator doing in the kitchen Dorian?”

“It’s keeping the food cold John.” Dorian smiled innocently, and John could swear he was batting his eyelashes.

Kennex felt himself flush with anger. “Don’t get cute. How the hell did you do that?” John pointed to the stainless steel appliance, that was definitely an upgrade from the model that John had owned before. 

“You were dreading going back there, so I went, and used your credits to buy it.” 

Dorian walked to the kitchen counter to pick up the salad he’d made. “I had Valerie take me back and I talked to Don. This model has a lot of good features.”

“What did they do, follow you home with it from the store? How did it get here so fast?”

Dorian ignored the question. It had been a long day, and he didn’t feel like arguing.

John looked at the refrigerator again and then at Dorian. He was speechless, his face still red with indignation. When did he lose control of his life, and when did his android partner start running it?

“I can’t believe you!” John raged. “I told you I wanted what I had before! How much did this thing cost?” 

He stalked into the kitchen and looked at the new refrigerator. It had french doors and a bottom freezer, along with a middle drawer that he hadn’t really seen in any of the other models they’d looked at. 

“Not as much as you would think.” Dorian told him calmly. “You can afford it.”

“What?” John snorted. “You hack into my bank account too?”

“No. You know I wouldn’t do that. I do however, know what your pay scale is, and I know what your other expenses are. It’s not rocket science John.”

John glowered at him. “What the hell is this middle drawer anyway? Looks fucked up if you ask me.”

“Why don’t you open it and see?” Dorian said nonchalantly.

John opened the drawer, and found it stocked with water, his favorite soda pop, and beer. It featured a temperature control that could be changed to specifically fit whatever was stored there.

In the mind of John Kennex, this was always going to be the “beer drawer.”

John noticed that the cooler was no longer in the kitchen, which meant that Dorian had put everything away already. Opening the french doors, he found food and condiments placed neatly inside. 

There was a new carton of milk, which meant that Dorian had also been to the market. With a quick glance over his shoulder, John opened the bottom freezer compartment, and saw a new carton of rocky road ice cream. 

“Come eat John, before this gets cold.”

Dorian sat in the seat across from John’s, and Kennex ambled over the table with a sigh, but didn’t sit.

“Sorry I got upset.” he said quietly. “I just wasn’t expecting that.” he motioned to the kitchen.

“I know.” Dorian admitted. “I probably should have told you, but, I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

“Thanks for getting the ice cream, and...” Kennex shifted his weight from one foot to the other, a sure sign that he was a little nervous.

“What is it John?” Dorian stood up too, wondering if maybe he’d overstepped his boundries this time.

“I just, um...I know I don’t say it often, or...ever, actually,” John was looking at a spot over Dorian’s left shoulder, unable to look his partner in the eye at that moment. 

“What?” Dorian persisted.

“You really do a lot for me. I don’t really deserve it, but...”

“Of course you do.” Dorian smiled. “You’re an amazing person John. If you would just believe that yourself, it would make all the difference.”

“Thanks” he said said hoarsely. “For taking care of the fridge, and, helping me sleep...” 

John felt himself blush as he thought about the fact that he hadn’t slept alone in a bed for nearly three weeks. Now he couldn’t imagine going back to the way things had been before. He wondered how Dorian felt about it, but his thoughts were interrupted by the android’s voice.

“You’re welcome John.” Dorian smiled again, and reached out to touch John’s hand, giving it a little squeeze.

John looked at Dorian, his blue eyes so innocent and earnest, and felt his throat close up with emotion.

Without really thinking about what he was doing, he pulled Dorian close, hugging him tightly. 

The android made a small, shocked noise, and when John didn’t immediately let go, brought his own arms up to return the embrace.


	6. Shopping - In the Ninth Circle of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one came together pretty quickly - John returns to Home Depot. This trip is a little more fun!

John pulled open the middle compartment of his new refrigerator and grabbed a cold beer, easily pushing it shut with his hip. It was his day off, and there was nothing on his to-do list. Life was good.

He plopped down on the couch, and contemplated what to do with his “alone” time, since Dorian was in the middle of charging. He saw a disc from Home Depot on the table and picked it up. 

“Must have come home with the new fridge.” He mumbled. 

Scanning through it out of boredom, John was surprised to see that his new refrigerator had matching appliances. A state-of-the-art dishwasher, microwave and gas stove with a double oven. Who knew?  
He glanced at his kitchen, which still sported three out of four white appliances. As soon as the thought entered his head to replace the remaining white items, he pushed it aside. He didn’t need them. Although, the new refrigerator was pretty kick-ass...

Moving to the next item on the disc, he noticed that something was bookmarked, and touched the screen to see what it was. The screen opened to display a black wicker patio set, with black, white and bright blue cushions. The detective’s brows knitted together, trying to work out the puzzle. He hadn’t even seen this disc before today, so Dorian must have been the one to bookmark this page. 

As John sat looking at the image, and idea bloomed in his mind.

 

“Where are we going John?” Dorian asked suspiciously.

“Just thought you’d like to go for a ride with me, ” he explained casually.

“Nuh uh.” Dorian shook his head, and John smiled. “You don’t go for ‘rides’ John, and you only let me pick the music on the radio when you’re feeling guilty about something, so what’s up?”

“Here we are.” John pulled into the parking lot of the Mega Home Depot store and smiled at Dorian again.

“What are we doing here?” Dorian looked around in surprise as John opened the driver’s side door.

“Having fun,” the detective replied with a wink.

John walked in front of the car and was a few feet away from the truck when he turned around. Dorian was still sitting in the passenger seat.

“You coming or not?”

Dorian followed John into the store, still not sure what was happening. It didn’t make sense that John would return to a place that he’d referred to as “the ninth circle of hell”, voluntarily. Dorian scanned his memory banks almost frantically, trying to search for an explanation for this trip.

John stopped in the middle of the outdoor furniture display and turned to his partner.

“See anything you like?” he asked. 

Dorian looked around, and when his eyes came to rest on the black wicker set that he had admired last week, the puzzle pieces fell into place...sort of. He waited for John to say something. 

The detective waited as well, but when Dorian just stood there, still looking confused, John rolled his eyes.

“This is the one you liked right? You bookmarked it in the disc from the store.”

“I did...admire it the other day.” Dorian spoke cautiously, feeling like he’d missed a punchline.

“So...” John smiled and motioned Dorian closer to one of the black wicker chairs. “Let’s get it.”

Dorian cocked his head as John sat in the other chair, testing out the cushion.

“You mean...buy it?”

“That’s the idea.” John touched the smooth wicker, and decided that this probably would look pretty nice on his balcony.

“Really?” Dorian had a small note of wonder in his voice, and John knew right then that he’d be buying this thing no matter what the price tag said.

“But...why?” Dorian sat next to him on the wicker couch. “You don’t need it.”

John took a deep breath and let it out. “If it takes this long for you to figure it out, I must really suck as a friend.”

“What?” Again with the confused blue eyes.

“Dorian, I don’t need it, but you want it. I want to get it for you.” John paused for a moment, looking at the android who had become such an important part of his life, more important than he could have imagined. 

“It’s your home now, too,” he said softly.

Dorian looked at John for a long moment. He let out a little strangled noise, like he was trying not to cry, and grabbed John around the neck to hug him.

John struggled for breath in the grip of Dorian’s excited bear hug, and managed to get a little distance between them. 

“Whoa there Dee, calm down...”

“ Thank you John! Thank you so much...this is the most wonderful thing ever!”

“Ok,” John laughed nervously when Dorian hugged him again. “Let’s find somebody to help us. You can hug me at home.”

John glanced up at that moment, and when he saw a woman smiling at the two of them, he felt himself blush.

He sat up and cleared his throat, as Dorian continued to gaze at him.

“That is so sweet,” she gushed. “I can’t remember the last time my husband did something like that for me.”

“I am pretty lucky.” Dorian told her, smiling radiantly. John’s blush went all the way to his hairline.

They left the store with a glass-topped table that matched the wicker set, as well as a large, totally useless, blown-glass vase thing that was a beautiful blue color, like the accent color of the cushions.

Dorian tried to talk John out of the vase, feeling guilty about the money they’d already spent, but John insisted that they buy it.

What he didn’t say was that the color reminded him of Dorian’s eyes.


	7. Arguing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was not fun to write. Hope I did it justice
> 
>    
> No one really understands what John went through after the raid...

John sighed loudly as he threw his keys on the counter, along with his wallet. It had been a monumentally shitty day. Even Dorian had agreed with him on that point. All the time they’d put in on that case, and the guy walked. Days like this made John wonder why he even tried. He was so tired of the constant uphill battle.

“You hungry? There’s some vegetable lasagna left.” Dorian asked, watching his partner closely. He knew John was upset. Hopefully now that they were home, he’d calm down a little.

“No.” came the reply. 

Kennex threw his jacket over the back of the couch and walked toward the balcony. “I’m just gonna go out here for awhile.”

Dorian smiled to himself as he picked up John’s discarded jacket. Ever since they’d purchased that patio set that Dorian liked so much, John had been spending more time sitting outside in the evenings. The android surmised that the comfortable, aesthetically pleasing atmosphere helped to calm the surly detective more than he’d care to admit.

As Dorian reached for a hanger, a small cylinder fell out of the jacket pocket. Dorian watched as it rolled across the floor, and then bent down to pick it up. As soon as he had it in his hand, he knew what was inside.

“John, what is this?”

“Huh?” Kennex was sitting with his arms across the top of the lounger, watching the sky change color as the sun set.

Dorian stepped onto the balcony and held the container in his open hand for John to see. The human’s face registered surprise, and then panic.

“Where’d you get that?” he asked quickly, standing up.

“It fell out of your pocket.” Dorian told him.

John took a quick stride and reached for it, but Dorian backed away, closing his hand tightly around the object.

“Give it to me.” John tried to keep his tone neutral, tried not to sound guilty or desperate.

“No.” Dorian pinned John with a hard look, his own voice clipped with anger.

“What’d ya mean ‘No’? It’s mine...” he crowded Dorian and tried to take the cylinder from him, but of course the android was faster, and easily moved out of reach.

“You’re not going back there.” Dorian said, his voice rising slightly as he went back inside.

“Excuse me?” John followed him inside, his own anger increasing. 

“You heard what I said. You’re not going back to the Recollectionist again.”

“Last time I checked, Dorian, I was in charge of my life.”

Dorian let out a little chuckle.

“Considering what we're talking about right now I'm not so sure that's a good idea"

John’s mouth dropped open in surprise at that remark.

“Give me the goddamned pills!” he demanded. 

Dorian glared at him, and moved to go into the kitchen. As he passed by the human, John tried to reach into the pocket of his jeans to get the container back, when Dorian made a slight turn and grabbed John’s wrist, hard.

John winced in surprised pain, and met the android’s gaze. His eyes were an icy blue now, hard and cold.

“You running low Dorian?” John spoke in a low tone, wondering what would happen if he tried to pull away right now.

“No.” Dorian held the man’s gaze as they stood nose to nose, and didn’t lessen his grip at all. “You think that’s what this is about John?”

“I’m just wondering if you’re gonna break my wrist.”

“I would never hurt you. I thought you at least understood that about me.”

“Well this..” John moved slightly, but Dorian didn't let up. ...”sure doesn’t seem like you.”

“I’m programmed to keep you safe John. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

They stood there for a moment more, at an impasse. It was John who spoke first.

“Let go of me. Please.” 

He ground out the last word like a curse, and after a moment, Dorian released him. The android stalked away as John rubbed his wrist and moved it gingerly.

Suddenly Dorian turned around and took the cylinder out of his pocket, holding it between them. 

“You want the pills?”

John cocked his head, confused. Dorian raised an eyebrow, obviously waiting for an answer.

Fine, Kennex thought to himself, he’d play along if he had to.

“Yes. I want them.” 

He took a breath then, somehow feeling better that this was out in the open.

“Why?” Dorian demanded. 

John was losing patience with this game of twenty questions.

“What the fuck Dorian? Why does everything have to be such a big fucking deal? This doesn’t even concern you...”

Dorian stood still, letting the feeling of anger wash over him. He wasn’t ‘low on charge’. Right now he was well and truly angry. Angry and hurt, that obviously their relationship meant something completely different to John than it did to him.

The look on Dorian’s face cut John to the quick. He looked like a kicked puppy, and that just made John feel worse than he did already. Why did everything have to be so difficult for god’s sake?

“The reason that this is a ‘big fucking deal’ John, is because last time you did this, it almost killed you!”

“Don’t exaggerate.” John told him.

“This drug is illegal for a reason John. If you caught somebody with this while you were on duty, you’d arrest them, wouldn’t you?”

Kennex looked away, silent.

“I want to know why you’re willing to risk so much, grasping at this idea that you’re going to recover every memory of that day. I know you’re still trying to regain some sense of control after...”

“Don’t head shrink me man.” John snapped at him.

“Well then explain it to me!!” Dorian raised his voice, surprising John.

“The images that this stuff shows you might not even be real! Is it really worth the risk to...”

“To me it is. I don’t care if you understand this or not, this is something I have to do!” 

John’s eyes were dark with anger as he took a couple of steps forward, but Dorian wasn’t ready to give in so easily.

“When are you gonna face the fact that you may never know what happened? It's not worth your life! Why won't you let this go?"

Dorian was shouting, almost pleading with John to see reason.

“Because! Don’t you fucking get it? It is my life! Everything changed for me on that day. Everything!” John’s voice almost vibrated with emotion.

“My life has a before, and an after. and everything from before is gone! It was ripped away from me like that!” 

John snapped his fingers, and Dorian could see that he was barely holding himself in check.

“Those are my memories...memories from before...and I want them back!” 

Even as he said the words out loud, John knew they didn’t make any sense, but it was too late. Now that he’d started talking, he couldn’t seem to shut up.

“I’m so fucking sick of people telling me that I should be grateful to be here, grateful that I came through the accident.” He laughed bitterly.

“I didn’t “come through it.” I fought like hell every day, every minute, all on my own. Nobody was there to help me. Now I'm supposed to listen to all these people who don't know anything about what it was like!"

“John...” Dorian felt his own anger begin to drain away as he listened to the anguish in the human’s voice. 

He knew all the facts surrounding John’s long, grueling road to physical recovery, but hearing it like this was almost too much.

“Everybody wants to tell me how to handle it, how to deal with it! All of those people still have all their limbs, and their families. What the fuck would they know about it, huh?”

Dorian stood silently, knowing that nothing he could do or say would make much difference at this point. Still, he had to make John understand that he couldn’t take that drug again. His luck would only hold out for so long.

“I can’t imagine what that must have been like John.” Dorian spoke quietly as he moved closer to the human.

“No,” Kennex agreed, “you can’t. ” his voice was flat and dull.

“I’m sorry you were alone for so long, but, you’re not alone anymore.”

Dorian took another hesitant step forward.

“You have to remember that when you do things like this.” he held out the cylinder of Membliss again for emphasis.

John laughed derisively, “You really gonna lay that on me?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You gonna try to convince me that I’m making a difference, Dorian? Like the difference we made today?”

John turned around and walked to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to grab a beer.

“You really think anybody cares whether I show up to work or not?”

“I care, John.”

Kennex closed his eyes, glad he was facing away from Dorian. 

He heard Dorian set something on the counter and walk out of the room. When he heard the door to Dorian's bedroom close, Kennex turned around and found himself alone.


	8. Making Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the follow up to the previous chapter. When we last left John, he found himself alone, after arguing with Dorian over the Membliss

“And you thought the day couldn’t get any worse,” John commented to the empty space around him. “Joke’s on you, Kennex.”

John put the beer back in the refrigerator. The idea of drinking the malted beverage now turned his stomach. Making his way over to the couch, he caught sight of the metallic cylinder on the countertop, proof that he had won the argument. He grabbed the thing with a huff of breath, and as he sat down heavily, he thought to himself that this must be the definition of a hollow victory. 

With a curse, John threw the Membliss across the room and watched bounce off the wall. He scrubbed his hands over his face and lowered his head, fighting against the headache that he could feel building behind his eyes.

Not five minutes ago, he’d been screaming at Dorian about everything he’d had to go through alone, with no one to give two shits about whether he lived or died, and here he was again, alone. This time it was his fault. He’d driven Dorian away with his stupid need for answers he’d probably never get.

Had he really fought so hard, for all those months, just to risk dying for something that he couldn’t even be sure was real? 

Finally, with a sigh, he pushed himself up off the couch and went to retrieve the all-important cylinder. He pushed it into his jeans pocket as he walked to Dorian’s room.

John knocked on the door softly. He wasn’t sure yet what he was going to say to the android. He figured Dorian would start talking first anyway. When there was no answer, he knocked again, a little louder.

“Dorian?” he heard a small rustling on the other side of the door and let out the breath he’d been holding.

“It’s not locked, John.”

Kennex opened the door slightly, and saw Dorian sitting stiffly on the side of the bed, with his hands folded in his lap. 

“Can I come in?” he asked, suddenly feeling awkward.

Dorian nodded, and John cleared his throat, just to fill the silence. Dorian wasn’t looking at him, and that made him nervous for some reason.

“Listen,” John began, “When we were talking before, I..” “ Dorian suddenly looked up at him and John lost his train of thought.

“I uh...I flew off the handle and said some things...you know how I am, right? I didn’t really…”

John stopped again, trying to gather his scattered thoughts, and trying to think of how to say what he felt. He’d been expecting Dorian to interrupt him, but that hadn’t happened yet, so John pressed on.

“I thought about some of the stuff you said, and I...”

“I’ve been thinking too John.”

“Oh?” 

“Yes, and I didn’t really realize until now.” 

John had expected Dorian to still be upset with him, but the android’s voice quiet. He almost sounded tired.

“Realize what?” 

“How terrible it must have been for you, being alone like that, for all that time.”

Dorian glanced at him again, and John felt a blush creep up the back of his neck. He didn’t handle sympathy very well.

“Dorian…”

“I worry about that too sometimes. I try not to think about it too much, but…” Dorian shrugged his shoulders and looked down again, at his still folded hands.

John sat down on the bed next to his partner. He suddenly had an overwhelming urge to take one of Dorian’s hands in his. He rubbed his open palm over the quilted bedspread instead.

“What do you worry about?” John’s brows knitted together in concern.

“I think about something happening to you, and I feel...afraid. I don’t want to be alone John. I don’t want to be without you.”

When Dorian’s blue eyes looked up at him in that moment, Kennex felt like all the breath had been knocked out of him.

“I love living here with you John. I’m happy.” Dorian held John’s gaze and sighed. "I don't think you are though. I thought I was helping you to feel better"

“You do...I mean...I am..doing better. I’m sleeping through the night now, I’m not getting as many headaches…”

“But you’re not happy...if you were you wouldn’t be thinking about going back to the Recollectionist.” Dorian glanced away from him again, and this time John did reach to put a hand on Dorian’s arm.

“I’m probably always going to think about that day Dorian. Not all the time, but..it’s not going to go away.”

Dorian nodded mutely, and bowed his head.

“Please don’t go back there John.” he whispered. 

“I’m...”

“Please don’t,” Dorian said again, and his voice sounded strange when he spoke this time.

He looked back at John with tears in his eyes, and Kennex felt like he’d been kicked in the gut.

“Shit Dee...don’t…”

Dorian leaned forward until his head hit John’s chest, and the bigger man put his arms around the DRN. Rather than calm him, this seemed to have the opposite affect, and Dorian’s shoulders shook with sobs.

“Dee...don’t…don’t cry Ok? I’m not going back there.” John put a hand on Dorian’s head as the DRN tightened his hold on the human.

“Did you hear me? I won’t go.”

Dorian looked up, his eyes brimming with moisture, and John felt his insides twist. 

“I’m not going.” he repeated softly. Without thinking, he ran his thumb along Dorian’s cheek to catch a synthetic tear. He wondered absently if it would taste salty.

Dorian considered John for a long moment, as if he didn’t trust what he was hearing.

“You’re not?”

“No.” John shook his head and attempted a small smile, trying to reassure Dorian and get him to relax.

“But...but you said…”

“I changed my mind.” John reached into his jeans pocket and retrieved the small object that had caused all the trouble.

“Here,” John said.

He opened Dorian’s hand and then closed the other man’s fingers around the cool metal.

Dorian still looked warily at John with tearful eyes. John knew that those eyes would be his undoing one day. Today just might be it.

"I won't go back Dee. I'm not gonna...not gonna leave you alone... I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to WeWillSpockYou for coming up with the challenge! Getting in under the wire with this one! Hope I can keep up - it'll be fun!!


End file.
